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Self-Esteem Is the Key to Change

Thank you for the influx of e-mails and phone calls in response to last month's column. Apparently, my musings about the lack of a sophisticated networking culture here in the US struck a very loud chord. I was gratified to learn that there is a dominant population here who wants to initiate positive change in our community and foster the kind of open and urbane environment that will drive America's continued success. In pondering this topic, I identified a key issue that we might collectively contemplate as we embark upon this cultural improvement initiative. That issue is self-esteem. Self-esteem has been perceived as one's own opinion of oneself - a sense of self regard and a sense of self worth. As we look at this topic globally, we can see how self-esteem takes on many shapes and sizes: Political self-esteem, corporate self-esteem, and civic self-esteem, to name a few. As an example, how would you define the corporate self-esteem of OmniMedia (Martha Stewart's company), or the political self-esteem of Afghanistan? I believe our country has a high level of self-esteem on many levels; however, I do also observe a tenuousness to this self-regard. When self-esteem is shaky, we tend to behave from a fear-based position rather than one that embraces change, welcomes newcomers, shares the wealth, and takes positive risks. If we feel threatened, worry about what others are doing, seek approval from anyone but ourselves, hoard our resources, or feel the need to compete, we are indeed experiencing the effects of low self-esteem. As an exercise, let's look at New York City - quite possibly the city with the grandest sense of self-esteem in the world. Recall the amazing display of self worth after 9-11. Visualize a New York that is opposed to the idea of change, closed to the influx of newcomers, or reluctant to take risks. Difficult to do, isn't it? Some things to think about:   Change is inevitable. We cannot "manage" change, even though there are college courses out there that try to teach us that we can. "Change management" connotes control. We can anticipate change, plan for change, initiate change, and react to change, but we simply can't control it.   A healthy sense of community self-esteem will alleviate the fear that typically accompanies change. We can achieve this level of self regard by applying the principles in the following acronym: C = Courage. Change requires the courage to move beyond the status quo. H = Honesty. The capacity to seek and tell the truth. Change based upon truth spells       success. A = Ambition. A desire to innovate. We must seize every opportunity to improve,       enhance, and develop. N = Network. Our networks equal influence. Influence is the foundation of change. G = Global. Everything we do has a global impact - it's just that most of us don't see it.       Global change begins with the firing of one synapse. E = Enthusiasm. A passion for what we want to change fuels the process. High self-esteem makes networking, connecting, sharing, and reaching out safe and positive experiences for everyone. With that in mind, here are a few recommendations (more next month) for enhancing your own network development: (1) Ask about others' businesses and express an genuine interest in what they do before you ask for business cards. Offer to send them information, an article, a contact, or other resource (but be sure to follow through). (2) When attending an event where a meal is served, jump in and act as the table host. Facilitate introductions and a lively discussion about a hot topic. It's an effective way to help people get to know one another and get connected. (3) When you meet someone who's new to town, take them to lunch or buy them a cup of coffee. This small gesture will be remembered and appreciate for years to come, and will do wonders for both your business and our city. (Remember, think globally.) (4) Connect local colleagues with your contacts in other cities. Help a fellow business person expand their connections and their reach. That's the kind of favor most of us can only hope for. (5) Talk about people! If you know someone you truly admire, spread their name around town. We all know the value of word-of-mouth advertising. I believe the greatness that is America obligates us to incorporate these principles into our day-to-day business practices. I hope you feel the same.

Debra Davenport, PhD, is a Master Professional Mentor and the president of DavenportFolio, a licensed firm with offices in Los Angeles and Phoenix that mentors entrepreneurs and professionals. She is the creator of the Certified Professional Mentor® designation and certification program and the author of The Ten Commitments of Highly Successful People. debra@davenportfolio.com or (866) 232-6492.

     

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