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Success Is How You Perceive It

For the last several columns, I've focused on career transition and the thesis that pursuing our greatest life aspirations is not only logical but required if we are to become fully self-actualized people. For some, the concept of "reaching your pinnacle" is as foreign as living on Pluto; for others, it's a trite sentiment; and for others, it's something they dream about, but never seem to make the time to pursue. The common denominator for all of these folks is their perception about change. The fact is achieving success requires change. If you're not enjoying life at your personal pinnacle, then your perception about change needs to shift. In one of my previous columns, I talked about metacognition - that is, thinking about the way we think. How we perceive change is completely subjective; we place our own meaning and value on the concept when, in reality, change is simply life. We can choose to be fearful of change, or we can choose to welcome change into our lives - it's all a matter of how we choose to think about it. We've all heard about overcoming the fear associated with taking risks. What is important to note is that fear-based decision-making is a choice, not a fact of life. I prefer to suggest to that we see opportunities associated with change - the most important opportunity being true success. When we approach change from this vantage point, fear dissipates and is replaced with enthusiasm, self-empowerment, and a positive mental attitude. Consequently, instead of striving so hard for success, success seems to "arrive" at our doorstep. It's a version of the abundance principle at work: Live as though you are successful, and you will be successful. I was having lunch with a very wise colleague of mine the other day and, as is typically the case, we were discussing the nature of success and how the mind is at the core of whether or not people achieve their life goals. "Reality is what each of us makes it," he said. "The problem most people get into is thinking that their lives, dreams, and individual struggles are unique to them and them alone. That's just not the way it is. We all share the same life experiences and emotions. The difference is how we choose to approach both the struggles and the opportunities." Having been mentoring clients since 1989, I've observed the gamut of emotions and behaviors surrounding change. Some clients jump in feet first and thrive in the process while others become paralyzed with fear, creating countless excuses for not taking steps toward the fulfillment of their acknowledged life purpose. I remember one client who, after months of self-discovery, realized his life passion and was so excited, he could barely contain himself. However, at our next session, he was sullen and withdrawn and stated that he was going to abandon his impractical fantasy to stick with what he knew, even though it didn't bring him happiness or a sense of fulfillment. Sadly, this client's ingrained perception about change was stronger than his desire and prevented him from taking the next step toward self-actualization and his picture of success. If you've completed the assessments in the past few columns, you hopefully have a good idea of what you really want to do with your life. (If you're still uncertain, I'd recommend seeking the objective input of a qualified career counselor, coach, mentor, or advisor who can assist you in getting very clear about your values, interests, and life purpose.) Remember that the concept of success is shaped by our perceptions as well. What success means to me may be 180 degrees different from what it means to you. There is no "right", "wrong", "good", or "bad" when it comes to what we each want out of life. I would say, however, that there are positive and negative ways we can choose to look at things that will certainly impact whether or not we achieve our idea of success. Our belief systems began developing at a very early age and are a powerful part of our internal drivers. However, belief systems, like computer software, can be deleted and replaced with new programs that operate more productively, constructively, and efficiently. Here are some ideas to help you manage your perceptions: 1) Avoid "saboteurs." These are the nay Sayers who try to talk you out of everything you feel passionate about. They are motivated to squash your goals because it makes them feel better about their own inertia and negative perceptions about change. 2) Exercise your brain. If you're stuck in a quagmire of misperceptions, indecision, or an inability to be creative, it's probably your brain holding you back. Visualize sending your self-defeating thoughts to the "recycle bin" and installing a new CD-ROM into your cerebral cortex. Meditation, yoga, biofeedback, and hypnosis are also powerful tools. The following web sites additionally offer useful information: www.mindtools.com, www.motivation123.com, www.transformationalthinking.com, and www.mygoalmanager.com. 3) Monitor your thought processes. I like to say "the brain has a mind of its own." In fact, our brains have gotten us exactly where we are today. Many of us function on autopilot much of the time and, as a result, our lives are simply a manifestation of our engrained beliefs and perceptions. Even though on many levels we cannot control brain function, we can learn to be acutely aware of negative and self-defeating thought processes - and we can choose to change them. 4) Do the work. If you want to reach your personal pinnacle, it's going to require effort, discipline, and change. Your commitment to yourself and to your life will be reflected in the amount of time and energy you devote to the process. Most importantly, make the process fun; personal growth is an extraordinary experience - enjoy it! Success is a holistic concept; it is not a separate entity from the rest of your life. You must be willing to assess and, if necessary, change all facets of your life in order to create success based upon an integrated model. As you appraise your attitude, environment, relationships, career, spiritual awareness, self care, health, and intellect, be aware of how each of these areas impacts your overall success. Modify as you need to and, above all, learn from the process.

Debra Davenport, PhD, is a Master Professional Mentor and the president of DavenportFolio, a licensed firm with offices in Los Angeles and Phoenix that mentors entrepreneurs and professionals. She is the creator of the Certified Professional Mentor® designation and certification program and the author of The Ten Commitments of Highly Successful People. debra@davenportfolio.com or (866) 232-6492.

     

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