1

"Tolerance" Leaves A Lot to Be Desired

I don't know about you, but I have a problem with the concept of "tolerance." Primarily, my issue lies in the semantic use of the word. Take a look at these definitions of tolerance I found on the Internet. First the positives:     1: a disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior [syn: permissiveness]     2: willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others And for the not-so-positive:     1: (noun) the power or capacity of an organism to tolerate unfavorable environmental         conditions     2: (noun) a permissible difference; allowing the freedom to move within limits. These examples have the capacity to skew what was initially developed as a societal public relations campaign designed to foster cultural understanding and respect. I have the privilege and pleasure of teaching a highly diverse student population in the graduate counseling program at National University in Los Angeles. During a recent classroom discussion, I tossed out the word "tolerance" and asked my students for their perceptions. They felt it is a politically correct term which was chosen with good intentions, but that the connotation of tolerating something is really "to put up with" it. I couldn't agree more. So, I then mentioned the word "appreciation" and again asked for their perceptions. Not surprisingly, that word was met with a much more positive response. As I walked around the classroom, I approached one of my students and asked her, "Kenya, if I said to you, 'I tolerate the fact that your skin is a different color than mine', how would you respond?" "Not very well," she replied. Then I asked her, "How would you feel if I said that I really appreciate the fact that your skin is a different color than mine?" The entire class started smiling and nodding. Aha! They got it! The power of semantics can have mighty implications and we must be extremely careful how we choose words that will effectively impact our entire society. As we saw, "tolerance" can be perceived positively or negatively. However, in researching the word "appreciation", every definition is affirmative - no additional public relations necessary. Here is a sampling of the definitions I found: 1: recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things 2: admiration; positive reception 3: a judgment or opinion, especially a favorable one 4: an expression of gratitude 5: awareness or delicate perception, especially of aesthetic qualities or values. As my students and I continued our discussion, it became clear to all of us that there is an inherent superficiality in the tolerance paradigm. I propose a new paradigm: Appreciation. If we are to truly evolve as a global people, we will have to expand our thinking outside of the tolerance box. No matter what our differences, there is something to be learned - something to truly appreciate - about every human being on our planet. As my students pointed out, people are sometimes non-receptive to others' differences because they're simply afraid. Approaching others from a perspective of fear, however, only serves to widen the cultural and religious chasms that have driven people apart for centuries. Open-mindedness fosters change; broad-mindedness promotes unity; and appreciation creates harmony and goodwill. We can all become "appreciation" change agents by simply employing a few simple strategies: 1) Replace the word "tolerance" with "appreciation" in all employee materials, training programs, and internal/external PR campaign verbiage. 2) Reach out to people of different cultures, faiths, beliefs, and backgrounds. Ask questions and show appreciation for their differences, even if you don't agree with them. Remember, everyone deserves a chance - and the right to be themselves. Respect and appreciation go hand-in-hand. 3) When you encounter close-minded people, speak up! Change agents aren't afraid to stand up for their values. Be a role model in the "Appreciation Campaign." Everyone will benefit from your leadership. By working together to create new mores and a new awareness of our unique human gifts, we can change our community - and the world - one "I appreciate you" at a time.

Debra Davenport, PhD, is a Master Professional Mentor and the president of DavenportFolio, a licensed firm with offices in Los Angeles and Phoenix that mentors entrepreneurs and professionals. She is the creator of the Certified Professional Mentor® designation and certification program and the author of The Ten Commitments of Highly Successful People. debra@davenportfolio.com or (866) 232-6492.

     

	© 2002-2007 The Davenport Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Proprietary material. No information from this Web site may be copied or reproduced in any manner without express written permission.
Privacy Protocols